Sometimes all you can do is tread water and try to keep your head up. That’s what my life has been like lately.
I’ve had a number of people say to me in the last week, “You haven’t written anything on your blog. What’s going on???” Well, all that has been going on is that I have been treading water. Nothing of significance has changed. If anything, it is getting harder and harder to keep my head above water. Here’s some of the reasons why:
1) My wife gave me a deadline at the beginning of the year to have my future worked out by the end of this year. In case you haven’t noticed, that’s 2 1/2 months away! I still have been unable to secure a new job and that has kept us living in limbo for way too long.
2) The distance continues to grow between me and my family. My two oldest kids continue not to speak to me. And just this morning, I realized that my daughter “unfriended” me on Facebook. It hurts that they resent me so much. I am trusting the counseling process, though, that my son is in and I pray my daughter will be willing to see a counselor at some point. As of now, she refuses to go. My wife has days that I can tell are “bad days” for her. I think her patience with this process is waning. Still, she wants everything to go well financially, so she has no choice but to wait this out. It’s just hard on all of us.
3) I am growing more and more discontent at the church where I am employed. I am struggling with the narcissism exemplified constantly by my senior pastor and it is getting very difficult for me personally to work with him. I have “recovered” significantly through counseling from the narcissism that I grew up with in my dad…so working for a narcissist is painful and frustrating. In addition, I have grown to be so much less conservative in the application and practice of my faith…so I really struggle with the conservatism our church stands for.
But there are a few good things happening. First, I have an interview this week for a part-time position with the Postal Service. Also, I am hoping to meet with a guy who I hear may be hiring for the funeral home that he manages. Please pray for these opportunities!
I have a couple more things I want to share but I will put them in more posts later this week.